Butter My Bread, Sugar My Kooko

The following narrative is based on a bizarre event that occurred on Tuesday, 23rd August, 2016 at James Town, Accra. This narrative is intended to serve as comic relief and is in no way an endorsement of rape culture. 


It was during the wee hours of Tuesday morning when Abbey decided to act spontaneously. He had just come back from sea without a single catch but he didn’t let that bother him at all. In fact, he even liked it better this way because it only intensified his predator instinct.

“If ayam not catch any salmon or kpanla no yawa koraa, Akweley go enter the net.”

He smiled wryly and unconsciously stroked his beard. He quickly stowed away his fishing gear and made his way towards home, but his real destination was Akweley’s room – they shared the same compound, thus, making Akweley his co-tenant.

The moon hung high and bright in the the blueback sky with a few scattered stars surrounding it. He stopped for a moment to take in the sight.

“Beautiful moon and stars.. Like plenty boys chasing one gɛɛr..” he mused, “like plenty aws-flies on one kɔmi.”

Moments later he found himself on his compound but steered away from his room and headed straight towards Akweley’s door. One gentle turn of the knob confirmed his guess – it was locked. He had however planned for this eventuality; He brought out a small pocket knife from his well- pocket, and silently cut the netting away. Then slowly and purposefully, he started chipping at the wire mesh to gain entry into the room, humming Shatta Wale’s Enter The Net as he chipped away.

Thirty minutes of tedious chipping was all it took for Abbey to create a hole in the mesh sizeable enough to squeeze through with his lean body. His fingers felt numb and a thin film of sweat glazed his body. He crouched momentarily in the semi-dark room as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He watched the silhouette of Akweley sprawled across her mattress without any proper composure. She lay there scantily clad and he hungrily drunk in her features, only increasing his libido. She snorted loudly and unexpectedly and he almost shouted from suddenness of it.

“Kwɛ Awula!” he exclaimed mentally, “you have done and my heart is doing me gbidim-gbidim.” 

Akweley turned in her sleep mumbling a string of gibberish, oblivious to the intruder in her room.

He spotted the Cocoa Butter on the shelf and wasted no time. He took off his scanty singlet and sea-riddled shorts, leaving him in only his briefs. He was thankful for the darkness because he was a little embarrassed about the three small tears at the backside of his supporter.

He took three hefty scoops of the pomade with his right index finger onto his left palm. He then rubbed both palms together and then moved in to smear the pomade all over and in-between Akweley’s buttocks.

“Ink yɛ mli.. Ei Ei.”

Usually, Abbey refrains from speaking Ga to enable him polish up his English speaking, unless the occasion called for it. This was something he followed religiously but he felt this moment called for a string of deep and heartfelt Ga phrases. He continued smearing the pomade, his eyes lit with mischief and excitement.

“Nakai nɔɔ.. Duna gbalagazaa.. Dukui Tata-Bus” he chanted exhilaratingly under his breath as he rubbed and massaged away, his manhood throbbing in agreement.


Two weeks later… 

The Ghanaian Times Newspaper


Oscar Anettey Abbey, 45, fisherman, has been sentenced to six month imprisonment for indecent assault of a female co-tenant.

Abbey pleaded guilty to the charge of causing unlawful damage, unlawful entry and indecent assault.

The court ordered him to pay for the repairs of the trap door costing GH¢80, in default serve a day’s imprisonment. The sentences are to run concurrently.

According to the court, in sentencing Abbey, it took into consideration his plea for mitigation.

The tenant was sleeping half-naked in her room at James Town when Abbey broke in and conducted his nefarious act.

On August 23, at about 02:30 hours while the complainant was fast asleep in her room, Abbey used an implement to cut the net of her trap door, entered into the room and found half naked on her bed.

The Detective Inspector said the woman felt some rubbing sensation and woke up to find him standing by her bed holding her Cocoa Butter cream with his penis erect.

The woman raised the alarm and chased him out of her room. He was arrested, but he managed to escaped on the way to the Police Station at James Town.

He was however re-arrested later the same day. 



Credit: http://www.ghanaiantimes.com.gh/man-attempts-to-rape-co-tenant/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *